Dealing with teachers can renew old fears and make parents want to defend their children against the world. Most teachers want to help, and recognizing this will prepare you to be an integral part of the team that contributes to your shared goal – helping your child to get the best education possible.

In school, as in life, sometimes you “click” with a teacher and other times you may struggle to maintain civility.

Email is often a convenient and helpful way to communicate with your child’s teacher, but you should follow the same guidelines as for any other professional communication.

• Be aware that teachers get many email messages–and have many other responsibilities during their day–and may not be able to respond immediately to yours.
• Identify your child and sign your name. Include a phone number where you can be reached.
• Be diplomatic. You can’t take back an email message and email can be easily forwarded. Be calm, choose your words carefully and avoid criticizing the teacher. Don’t write and send an email when you are angry.
• Stick to school-related matters. Don’t forward chain mail, jokes, or frivolous information.
• Don’t forward someone else’s email, including a teacher’s, unless you have their permission.

If your student is having problems with his new teacher, try to implement the following:

• Encourage older students to be their own self-advocate. It is usually best for the student to try to talk to her teacher first to resolve a misunderstanding or conflict.
• If it is necessary for a parent to step in, treat the teacher as your adult partner in helping your child succeed and listen carefully to his or her concerns and expectations. Be positive, and work toward resolving conflict.
• Do not argue with or criticize the teacher in front of your child.
• Finally, if your student is achieving academically but dislikes the teacher, the experience could serve as a good life lesson in dealing with different personalities. Unless the environment is emotionally stressful, it may be best to help your child learn how to survive the next school year with a “difficult” teacher.