By Kristin Backert

I hate losing. Hate, hate, hate it. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised; growing up with the Pokémon mantra of “I wanna be the very best like no one ever was” is bound to make a kid strive for perfection throughout her life. So when I lose at something, I am positively seething on the inside. What did I do wrong? How could I not be the very best? How could I lose?

Recently, I started playing Fallout 4. This is very different from my usual videogame framework; I’m more of a Pokémon, Animal Crossing, and Crash Bandicoot kind of girl, and those aren’t exactly anxiety-producing games. But I wanted to try something new, so I chose a game that’s wildly different from anything I’ve played before, from the storyline to the visuals to the gameplay aspects. At one point early on in the game, I died maybe five or six times to the same monster. It was infuriating. Yes, I was brand new to the game and this style of videogames, so dying was probably inevitable. But dying multiple times to the same monster? Ugh. It was pathetic. 

But this is what’s great about losing (or dying to a mutated Godzilla-like beast): it fires you up. Every time that I died, I stopped and considered what went wrong. I analyzed the situation and asked myself what new info I gleaned about the creature and how I could use that intel to change my strategy. My thoughts went something like this: It’s too strong for me to fight in hand-to-hand combat (or baton-to-claw combat), so I have to switch to a long-range weapon. It’s pretty big, so maybe taking cover inside a building would help because it won’t be able to reach me. It doesn’t seem to notice me every time I re-spawn, so maybe I could use that momentary distraction to run for cover, hunker down, and start shooting. It runs pretty quickly, and its main weapon seems to be its claws, so maybe taking out its limbs first makes the most sense. 

In the end, I successfully destroyed the creature. But that never would have happened if I hadn’t first lost to it and was forced to re-think my strategy. While losing can feel awful in the moment and might make you want to give up, I like to look at losing as an art, as a pathway to learning and victory. 

So yeah, I hate losing. But losing makes me better, and without it, I wouldn’t think more critically about what I could do differently in all sorts of situations and adjust my approach. So the next time that you try something new and fail, rejoice! Losing can only help you on your path to becoming the very best like no one ever was.